~~ WITH DEEPEST REGRETS ~~

Today we mourn the passing of an old friend by the name of Common Sense. Common Sense lived a long life but died in the United States from heart failure as the new millennium unfolded. No one really knows how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, and factories helping folks get jobs done without fanfare. For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and it's okay to come in second. But his health declined when he became infected with the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus.
In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of well intentioned but overbearing regulations. He watched in pain as self-seeking lawyers ruled good people. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero-tolerance policies.

Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports. Finally, when a woman, too stupid to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, was awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments regarding questionable regulations such as those for toilets, rocking chairs, and stepladders

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.